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 Doris Urteaga, a counselor at the Domestic Violence Crisis Center, provides group and individual counseling sessions for victims of domestic violence. As part of the Safety Net Giving Circle, the Center received a $20,000 grant from the Foundation to address the increase in domestic violence cases brought on by the economic downturn.
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Protection from domestic violence
It took Sarah several years to admit what she had known was true for some time.
She was a victim of domestic violence.
Looking back, the Westport mother of three who has been married for 28 years, realizes the abuse started long ago. It began with financial control, progressed to verbal abuse and escalated to physical violence.
“When the police came, it sunk in that ‘This is very real’,” she said.
Sarah, who asked that her name be changed, equates her situation to the story of how a frog dropped into a pot of boiling water will immediately jump out, but a frog placed in a pot of cool water that gradually comes to a boil does not register the temperature change and stays put, not sensing danger.
“The verbal and emotional violence is worse than anything physical,” she said. “It started with name calling. I was ‘useless’ or ‘worthless’ and pretty soon, I began to believe something was wrong with me.”
She acknowledges that it’s hard to understand a woman who graduated Phi Beta Kappa could believe her self-worth was almost nothing, but Sarah’s case is not unique.
“When you live in Westport, you don’t talk to your friends about it. You don’t talk to your family,” she said. That isolation made it worse. “I developed a substance abuse problem, and I was never a drinker before. Those are the ways you cope.”
Sarah sought help from the Domestic Violence Crisis Center, for herself and to protect her children. She received counseling and mentoring from the Center’s staff, and most of all they helped her regain her confidence.
“I don’t know where I’d be without DVCC. No one figured it out. My priest, the psychologist, no one,” she said. “That was where DVCC was invaluable to me.”
After being out of the workforce for nearly 20 years, the Center’s staff helped Sarah find a social services job where she would be in a position to help other people. They also continue to support her through the rough patches at home as Sarah, her husband and children continue to live together.
“In a sense, I got my life back,” she said. “I still struggle. There are tough days. Sometimes my husband will start in on me, but I stand up to him now. I say ‘I can’t believe you said that.’ I don’t back down.”
How to help
It's easy, just click the "Donate Now" button. You can make a tax
deductible, online contribution to the Fund for Community Leadership
which continues the work of the Safety Net Giving Circle by ensuring
the basic needs of Fairfield County's most at-risk residents continue
to be addressed.
To make a contribution by mail or fax, or for more information, contact Linda Franciscovich,
Vice President of Development and Philanthropic Services at
203.750.3200 |
2009 Annual Report: Stories, photos, feats and financials
